Do you understand the words coming outta my mouth?

16 07 2011

You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. (1 Pt. 3:7 NASB)

Recently I’ve been taking part in the John Maxwell leader, speaker, and coaching program. As a result I have learned a massive amount of information and applications and have forgotten much more! (so far I’ve consumed almost 60 hrs of material)

One of the most helpful things I’ve learned is what a “coach” is and isn’t. A coach asks expository questions and that’s it. They don’t teach, they don’t mentor, they just ask really good questions! You see, you, in your paradigm, have a predisposition towards certain circumstances. This causes you to assume what the best step is, the only problem is it’s not your circumstance it’s your clients.

This is why it is so important to understand your client and their circumstance so that you can ask the best possible question to help them determine the best solution for them. John Maxwell says it this way, “seek first to understand then be understood.”

So as a husband I have started to practice this approach. I’ve started asking good curiosity questions, I’m trying to understand my wife (a dangerous thing I know). And it works! I feel more connected to her, I know better her heart, her hopes, joys, and fears. And I know better how to love her and encourage her. Don’t believe me, just ask her!

Seek first to understand then be understood.

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