App stores, the more apps there are available, the greater the chances will be that there will be one that I want.

Take Out Chinese, the more options I have, the greater my chances of getting the right meal that will leave me hungering again in 35 minutes.

Boyfriends/Girlfriends, now this was never a problem I had, but for some the more they date the more likely, they believe, they are to find Mr. or Mrs. Right.

But this isn’t always true! I hate searching the app store because it is so saturated with apps I will never want or use. There is a Chinese place down the road that has a front and back page menu, that’s it! However, they have all my favorite dishes. I have six options all of which I like. Marla was the first, and really only, girl I dated in college. I knew October of freshman year I wanted to be with her! I didn’t need to go on dates with a bunch of other girls. Disclaimer: I did go on other dates with some pretty cool girls in college, however I still knew, and was confirmed in the fact that Marla had what I wanted in a spouse.

So as I think about it. I only want more options because I don’t know what I want. We laugh about one of Marla’s uncles because he orders the same thing at every restaurant: chicken fingers. But he knows what he wants, he doesn’t need a big menu. Having more options is really a lazy way of figuring out what we really want. When in reality, it would be much better to sit down and think through what we value, what we could want as a result of that, and why we would want it.

Stop looking for options and do the work yourself, you’ll enjoy that choice better than one you might might or might not have wanted, but it was the best looking option at the time.

My bet is on Alyssa Milano

My favorite Tony Danza will always be the Angles in the Outfield Tony Danza. However, I was strangely drawn to the Who’s the Boss Tony Danza as well. Truth be told, it probably had something to do with Alyssa Milano, but I digress. The real purpose of this post is that the question of “who’s the boss” goes much deeper than TV comedy. The struggle to answer this question reaches far into the depths of our organizations and actions.

A great example of this struggle is in my 8th grade class. Now I don’t remember ever being as bold or annoying as some of my 8th graders, although I probably was, but sometimes my students are annoyingly bold! Note: if you’re one of my 8th graders reading this post, and you’re wondering if this is about you, it’s not. The students this post refers to know who they are and are proud that they’ve made a blog post. It always seems that they struggle to know, or a better word: remember, who the boss really is. In case you’re wondering, in my classroom it’s me!

Sometimes, my annoyingly bold students forget this and decide they are going to set the pace of class. They suggest (demand) that we do this exercise instead of that one. They want to work in groups instead of by themselves, or they’d rather work by themselves than in groups. They have concluded that since the subject mater is boring they don’t have to participate in the learning. The best part is that this is not an internal decision, this is an external demand.

Enter the boss. Usually at this juncture, I make a joke and then remind my students that’s not the way room 302 works. Now, this may sound a lot like, “because I’m the teacher and I said so,” let me assure you IT IS! This is not because I am some cruel classroom dictator, although some of my students would beg to differ. I have set the vision of where our class needs to go for the week. This weekly lesson plan is a part of the unit that is set by their education standards. There is purpose for the day’s actions. While there are times we can scrap the lesson plan and follow some “educational” tangent, my students will not dictate how the day will proceed. When they try, I remind them, “that decision is not yours to make.”

Question: Are you allowing people in your organization to make decisions that aren’t theirs to make?

You see, whether you’re the teacher

or the “boss” your job is to be the leader and make the decisions. And while we strive to make decisions that will benefit the entire class or team, we can’t always make the most popular decision. Sometimes you have to make the unpopular decision because that’s what is best for the long term vision.

Don’t let short sighted people make decisions that affect the long term vision!

I understand the illogical nature of this struggle but here is why I am struggling: if I know my strengths and weaknesses I know something will have to change. I’m afraid of what the change will be, I also know it will require sacrifice. Change and sacrifice are not very good incentives for anything.

However, with my 28th birthday quickly approaching and reminding me I didn’t stop at 25, I’m realizing life is to short to do something you’re not good at or something you don’t enjoy. This thought is much more painful than any change or sacrifice. that must be made.

Until the pain of remaining the same is greater than the pain of change there can be no change.

If life doesn't look like what you expected it to look like, maybe its time to change your perspective

“Things aren’t always what they seem.” I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard, read, or said that statement. The truth of the matter is that I haven’t fully grasped that concept. More truthfully I’ve refused to allow them to look any different than the way I’ve expected them to.

I liken this to me shutting myself inside of a jail cell and locking the door. Confining myself to the paradigm that is the cell. If I could just allow it to look differently than I had expected or desired a whole new world of possibilities could open up to me.

Here is a personal example. When God led Marla and I away from Texas I didn’t understand it. Truthfully I struggled with it. I struggled to know for sure it was God’s moving us, I struggled to know for sure we were going in the direction He was pointing us in. And I struggled with going to work at a school rather than a church.

When I was 14  I promised God I would serve Him in full time ministry (can you hear the iron door starting to shut?). So I automatically assumed that meant I was going to be a pastor, associate pastor, youth pastor, or missionary working in a church. But where are the rules written that those positions are the only full time ministry positions? I had locked myself into a way of thinking that was not, is not, conducive to God’s creativity. I realize now that full-time ministry isn’t a particular job. It’s a way of life.

If you lock yourself into a paradigm or expectation that isn’t necessarily true or beneficial you can completely miss out on what God desires to show you.

What paradigms do you have that are holding you back?

If you're not adding you're subtracting which ends in division.

They say, whoever “they” are, it is better to give than to receive; and for the most part they are right.

But the trick isn’t desiring to give over getting. The trick is giving well. Here are a few ways to give better.

#1 Dont’ give junk

Giving is better only when what you give has value. If you give something that you know is junk, you won’t be happy with it nor will who ever is receiving.

#2 Don’t just give once

We have been trained (brain washed) on how to give and receive. If I give “A” you in turn should give “B.” Never should I ever have to give “A” twice in order to get “B” once.  This is where the concept of cost and worth comes into play (I’ve written more on this here:). When giving is better than receiving you are more concerned for the other person. When you operate in a “I give, you give” mentality you’re still worried about yourself.

#3 Don’t expect people to come to you

This thought is the hardest to accept and to practice. If we know we have #1 & #2 on lock, we believe people should be lining up at our door fighting to get to us. There are a couple of problems with this thought. First, that is not our culture today, people have become more communally introverted. If you want to build community around your product or whatever it is you have, you have to go to where they are. This allows them to interact with you on familiar ground and thus give them a sense of control. Secondly if it’s not about you why are you making people come to you? If you believe your product can add value to people take it to where the people are so that you can add value to them.

If you can succeed in these three thoughts of giving and adding value to others, they will be more likely to add value to you.

Recently I’ve been taking part in the John Maxwell leader, speaker, and coaching program. As a result I have learned a massive amount of information and applications and have forgotten much more! (so far I’ve consumed almost 60 hrs of material)

One of the most helpful things I’ve learned is what a “coach” is and isn’t. A coach asks expository questions and that’s it. They don’t teach, they don’t mentor, they just ask really good questions! You see, you, in your paradigm, have a predisposition towards certain circumstances. This causes you to assume what the best step is, the only problem is it’s not your circumstance it’s your clients.

This is why it is so important to understand your client and their circumstance so that you can ask the best possible question to help them determine the best solution for them. John Maxwell says it this way, “seek first to understand then be understood.”

So as a husband I have started to practice this approach. I’ve started asking good curiosity questions, I’m trying to understand my wife (a dangerous thing I know). And it works! I feel more connected to her, I know better her heart, her hopes, joys, and fears. And I know better how to love her and encourage her. Don’t believe me, just ask her!

Seek first to understand then be understood.

"What about me?!"

I have an affinity for things from my child hood. Now before you shrug this statement off as a typical Gen Y statement please allow me to share.  I look up old 80′s and 90′s cartoon intros. What is more I look up old commercials from the same era’s just to taste a slice of nostalgia. I’ll search eBay for old toys, not so that I can complain about mom throwing them away and how rich I could have been, but because I think they were the coolest things ever!

So when Pastor Russ mentioned the Land Before Time during Sunday’s message I was all ears! Much to my chagrin however, he mentions my least favorite character: Cera. Now this could be because she was the only girl in group, or it could have been because her pizza hut toy was the hardest to manage with my small five fingers. However, I believe I can honestly say I had less patience for Cera because she complained the most.

During his sermon Pastor referenced one of Cera’s most memorable lines, “What about me?!”  He used this to equate her attitude to the disciples. How right after Jesus had told them He was going to die they start asking who was the greatest among them (Luke 9:43-46).

It was classic pre-resurrection disciple fashion. Here’s what they were really asking when they asked who was the greatest, “who is gonna have the nicest room, who is going to get taken care of the best.” It only stands to reason that the most important one would have the nicest place in the Kingdom.

You see, the disciples were so worried about getting taken care of they couldn’t even focus on taking care of Christ and his mission. In fact later in this incident Jesus charges them with responsibility (John 14). What is so great about this is that earlier

Jesus had already shown he was going to take care of them.

Matthew 1o contains Jesus equipping and sending out the disciples but Matthew 11:1 contains the real diamond. In fact if you’re quick reading or reading out of context you just might miss it.  Matthew 11:1 says, “ When Jesus had finished giving instructions to His twelve disciples, He departed from there to teach and preach in their cities.” You catch that, Jesus, after sending them away from their cities, went into their cities to teach and preach, keep in mind everywhere Jesus went to teach and preach he healed and helped those who were sick, hurting, and in need.

In essence Jesus was saying through his actions, if you focus on my ministry and what I desire from you I’ll take care of you! Of course I’m assuming the disciples would be concerned about their families and neighbors, but it seems to be a pretty safe assumption.

So if you’re wondering who is going to take care of you…Jesus is!

The Western Dream is fueled by a desire for comfort.

The Eternal Mindset is fueled by sacrifice.

Can there be a balance between the two.  Or, should there be a balance between the two. 

I WANT YOUR THOUGHTS! PLEASE POST THEM IN THE COMMENTS!

POST FAIRLY! DON’T BASH OTHERS OR I WILL BE FORCED TO TAKE YOUR MOTHERS OUT FOR STEAK [i don't like seafood] DINNERS AND NEVER CALL THEM AGAIN!

Reading Matthew 7 today I realized that Jesus focused on the hearts of people before asking them to “do.” (read Matthew 5-7)

Yes I realize he told them what they should be doing but it was only so they could check the condition of their heart.

Lesson from this: starting a movement begins with changing a heart.

You could always try changing actions before changing hearts, but how many actions have you maintained with out conviction to continue them?

However, in my last go around with this story I realized I didn’t want to be any of the people but rather the jars! Think about it, Jesus has the jars filled with water and then he takes the ordinary and makes it extraordinary only to poured out and used for his glory.

I want to be the jars, poured out to bring Christ glory!

Where are you being poured out in an extraordinary way?